Slipping Day

Hello,

It seemed like it would be a regular day with temps in the teens and they were expected to rise to the low twenties. Sounded perfect for the walk to church. It even seemed like skirt weather with tights for a little warmer legs that were also tucked into wool socks, leg warmers, and boots. Those green tights seemed a bit loose. They had not been on a body for some time, maybe a year or two. Surely they would be alright?

After about three blocks the tights needed an upward adjustment which was accomplished by unzipping my coat to the waist, slipping my cool gloveless hand in the waistband of my skirt, feeling around for the top of the tights, and hitching them up as much as I was able while walking slowing trying to see if anyone were looking at what I was doing. Luckily on Sunday morning there is not a lot of traffic, wheeled or otherwise.

I went through that process at least two more times before we got to church where I went to the bathroom and made more serious adjustments. By the end of church I needed another serious adjustment. Leroy and I stayed for the brief meal and longer annual meeting after church. By that time there was again serious slippage. “Why did I wear these things anyway?” I wondered to myself, “the elastic must be gone.”

I told Leroy, “I do not know if I can walk the mile home before they fall down completely.”

“Why don’t you just take them off?” he wondered.

“I thought of that, but I am afraid I will be too cold,” I anxiously replied.

We set off and before we got out of the parking lot I could feel them slithering down slightly. The problem at this time is that there are a lot more people around who could witness my adjustments so I only tried twice in this mile that stretched on forever. We just kept walking and I gave the occasional report. It went something like this: they are in the middle of my hips, they are below my hips, and followed by, the crotch is down by my knees. I tried to walk with a bit wider stance to make it harder for them to fall. It was less than successful. When we got in the back porch I unzipped my coat, pulled up my skirt that came just below my knees and showed Leroy those tights hanging almost to the top of my boots. Luckily my coat was long, hiding any interesting action from the public.

Women’s clothes! Those tights are now history and will not be worn again. Who needs warm legs anyway?

Paula