More Feelings

Hello,

 

I am fulfilling that statement “I am my own worst enemy”. My blood pressure was nicely low the last two days. I thought maybe the med works that well and quickly. Today, however it is a different story. It has been popping up and down.

 

My anxiety level is so high. Leroy is helping me by holding my hand some, but it does not take it down enough. It seems to be one of those things where the more I try to control it the worse it gets.

 

I am scared of this surgery even though I know it is not a big deal. Logic seems not to win the argument over emotions. I refer back to my only surgery when I had a wisdom tooth extracted. It was to be quite simple and only take twenty minutes. In the end it took 2.5 hours. I was told to take it easy, but I did not need those instructions as my jaw was quite pained. I could not chew for several days. I was nursing Sarah at the time and I ended up losing ten pounds in just a few days.

 

I am afraid that even though it is supposed to be simple something might happen to change that and this is my eye.

 

I see the family doctor tomorrow. I tell myself that if I have to cancel it will be done later and my blood pressure will be under control. But much of that self talk is not so effective. I do not listen to myself?

 

Paula