Brave or Inured?

Hello,

Am I brave or inured? I do not know. It had not started to snow when I went to work, but started as darkness approached. It just kept going with patrons bringing reports of slippery, cold, and snowy conditions. I would look out from time to time and see snow or little snow in the air.

I had worn my boots to work because I do not like going out to the car in shoes, changing to boots and then cleaning the car of snow. I have to confess that I closed the library about five minutes early, in part because no one had been in for at least fifteen minutes and it was still snowing heavily and rather windy. The car was about as covered with snow as I have seen it.

Because of my experience when subbing while Leroy was at seminary I get snow off all parts of the car. I once came out from subbing to find at least three inches of snow on the car. I dutifully cleared only the windows, hopped in, drove onto the interstate, increased speed, and got lost in a white out as the snow blew off the front of the car onto the windows causing them to fog over so badly that I could not see for some time. And that was when my young eyes could see better. I can tell you that driving blind on the interstate in St. Paul, MN is not something I would recommend, even though it was a source of excitement. Since then I have become a serious snow remover.

The drive home did not seem too bad in spite of the wind whipping snow across my line of sight; at least it was only temporary. By the time I was almost home, I realized that I did not have that death grip on the steering wheel and felt almost comfortable. The most disconcerting time was on the notorious curves on the Interstate in town. I had noticed that I seemed to be losing people behind me as they exited here and there. I wondered briefly if they knew something I did not and they were getting off. By the time I was navigating that s curve there was no one following me or ahead of me. I slowed down to 35 mph and kept on without incident. I believe that I have never been on that stretch of road by myself. Eerie experience!

I even made it home before Leroy expected me. I had called him when I was going out to the car so he could take up the worry role if he cared to do so. Actually that was so that if I did not appear in a reasonable amount of time he could search for me.

Paula

Color in my life

Hello,

I just got back from a trip to the church to pick up some poinsettias. On Sunday I had noticed there were still several sitting in the windows outside the Sanctuary. I asked about their fate learning that eventually they would be thrown out. I was offered some if I wanted. Did I want? Yes!! I selected four of the best looking although many were still in good shape. It was decided that Leroy would bring them home on his half day, Thursday. In looking at the weather, Leroy wondered if that was a good idea since it was to be quite cold. Because I went back to the chiropractor for that adjustment, exercise, and mini massage, I could make a circle and get them in the 30 degree weather.

Coming in the door of the church I met a woman from the book club. She had said she wanted to talk to me about the book we are currently reading that I have not started. I was flattered and amazed that she would want to talk to me. That statement boosted my feelings of self worth. So we ended up having such a long talk near the door that I even put down my purse so I would not feel the weight on my shoulder.

The church experience just increased in goodness. I stopped in the office to let the person know I had come to pick up the poinsettias and she said, “You must talk to someone who takes care of them,” pointing out another woman in the book club.

Dee commented that she had selected, for composting, some of the less good looking ones. You can have any of the rest. I selected four of them and started moving two of them to the door. As a neared the door Dee came out of an office and handed me another one. A woman was just going out the door and she helped me carry those three to the car. After that I returned for the last two only to find Dee standing with four more and declaring I should take them as the cleaner hated them with their dropping leaves. I felt a little guilty taking all this beauty, wondering if there were some other person who might like them. But so far no one else had stepped forward. When Leroy saw my bounty, he said, “Wow!”

I had thought about taking some to the library in Ely, but I am selfishly thinking of keeping them here as I have found spots for all nine poinsettias. All rooms except the bathroom, have one. I am blooming and colorful. Such joy is to be had!

Paula

Outdoor Life

Hello,

It was a great day to walk to church. It was early so quite a bit colder than when we came home. As long as we could be in a position that the wind could not get at us we were fine, but we made the trip in a short time, nothing like a wind to urge you forward. My hips were a little tired from being careful on the more icy looking spots. Perhaps because it was a Saturday when the last snow came, people had shoveled their walks, but sometimes there was an icy strip under a thin layer of snow which felt unsafe even if we did not slip at all.

Yesterday at work I noted varying responses to the weather. Several people told me they were trying to keep warm. While some told me it was not bad and one person even declared it to be nice out. Attitude does indeed make a difference to the same day in the same place.

It is so great to look out at the snow in the sun. It lifts my spirits. I should be out sledding or something fun like that instead I have been in the house since we came home.

Brian has a sled that I bought at a neighbor’s garage sale when we lived in Missouri Valley, IA. We left there in 1984 and we had it a little while before we left so that should give you an idea of the age of this sled. We have always pronounced it to be the best sled ever. I remember hesitating because they wanted $5.00 for the sled, but it has earned my respect over and over again. Now I think it was a bargain. This sled is a black plastic that easily allows two people to sit in it especially if one is a child. There are medal handles that can be used to steer or brake. Oh and did I mention that it goes very fast on many types of snow?

Brian and family went sledding with some other families and they were all impressed with this sled. For some time, it has had some holes in the bottom that we put cardboard over so the snow was not coming in so much. His friends told Brian, “That sled is so good that you should try to fix those holes.” It might live a long time yet.

I have never seen another sled like this before or since. I think someone should manufacture it once more. It is the best.

Paula

Almost Well

Hello,

I am almost well. At least I feel good. My nose still runs a little and I occasionally cough. By tomorrow I should be 100 percent.

Leroy beat me home, allowing him to shovel snow by the garage. Helped my assent into that car shelter. He was not in the apartment and it took me a while to realize that he had probably walked to the grocery store. After he came home he asked me to put the food away and he would shovel the front walk. I should have put on warm clothes once more and helped him, because I really wanted to be out there. It is not so cold so it is great to be out. At least tomorrow I will experience the great walk to church.

I am fortunate to be sick just a short time. It must be that flu shot working its magic. Leroy has not had one yet, but he has been surprisingly healthy. I feel that something is not right because generally he is more inclined to catch any passing germ adopting it as his new best friend. This year he has not been sick at all and I have been sick twice. The world is out of sync.

Leroy and I have the most un-American meals. Tonight we had leftover cubed cooked potatoes that I sautéed with onions, garlic, mushrooms, tofu, and spices turmeric and rosemary. Over that we put a few green beans and a small mixture of leftover vegetables. On the side there was red cabbage and apple salad. Oh there was a dab of salsa in a jar so we each had some of that along with a small amount of shredded cheese. Our meals are certainly unique, but we both like them. Leroy is quite adventuresome about food. He was the one who chose the spices.

Paula

Feeling Crummy

Hello,

That was yesterday that I felt crummy. So crummy, I did not even bother to write. Even though I worked all day and felt fine in the morning, I was looking for the end of the shift starting at noon. I do not usually watch the clock, but I probably looked at it every fifteen minutes just to see time crawl by.

Because I am off at three I thought I would take a nap before we went to our Spirituality study. Before I could get settled I realized I felt hot. My temp was over 100 degrees F. It is surprising because I usually notice joint aches when I have a fever and there were none. I trusted the thermometer and believed that I had a fever since I felt so low and slow. No more outings for me.

This is like true confession, but I also felt badly because someone had told me that their retired spouse was called back to their old job at their former salary for two days of the week. Knowing where they worked and what they did, I assume that their two days are paid much more than my three days. I was jealous rather than happy for them. This person has apparently not liked being home so much so there is that special benefit for them. I should be happy for them. I am getting closer to that feeling, but it is a bit slow in coming.

I have everything I need. I was reminded of this when I pulled into the alley to find two people there. One was a man and I am not sure about the sex of the other. In the frigid weather the guy seemed to be pulling closed the coat of the other person. They stepped to the side and I went past. I turned to pull into the garage, glanced back down the alley, and saw them go to a garbage can where they seemed to be pulling something out. Then I saw them turn and head off with a large bag that might have had 5 cent cans to recycle in it. I worked in a warm place, drove home in a warm car, and entered a warm house with enough to eat and a good bed. What more could I want?

Paula

Decision Made

Hello,

We just today signed up for an Advantage plan to accompany our Medicare coverage. If it is the wrong decision we have a year to change that before things are a bit less flexible. At least now I can sleep without waking up in the night to go into unproductive worry mode. I am pleased that we will be paying much less for this than first anticipated, helping us to manage on our two half salaries. Maybe it pays to get old.

I believe all this would have been easier if our lives felt more settled, but then perhaps not. I might have found something else to fuss about. One thing nice about Leroy’s abbreviated working hours, we can schedule appoints in his time off as long as it coincides with my time off.

Leroy had thought that he would know if the congregation would consider an interview, but that is not to be until next week. Hopefully that is a hopeful sign. We have to trust that it will all be well and in the best interest of all. Half the time I want to rail at God and half the time I want to embrace God. Sort of a tough relationship here.

When we visited Brian and Jen, Sophia pointed out that there is a house for sale on their street. She thought it would be great if we would buy it and come babysit for them. I would love to do that if we could afford to live there. My real dream is to buy a home close to each of our children and come for several weeks or months at a time. Now that would be really luxurious living. The hard part would be leaving each place after getting settled in. But some people already own more than one home. So they manage all that somehow.

Paula

Looking at wounds

Hello,

There must be something about being a librarian that gives people a chance to display their wounds. One of my co-workers had carpel tunnel surgery recently. She showed me the incision. Three days after the event it looked clean, not swollen and healing. Already she can do limited tasks with this hand.

Later that evening I noticed a boy who came in with a specialized walker. As he was leaving he told me that he had had surgery to change the direction of one of his legs. Moving was still an effort for him, but he could certainly do it by himself. He seemed to be about eleven years or perhaps even older. He briefly described the surgery and then wondered if I wanted to see his leg. I said that he did not have to show me, but he was already pulling up his pant leg. There were just three bumps or small protrusions in his leg. Amazing that such an intricate thing can be done with just small entrance points. “The surgery was a month ago,” he added.

“It must feel better now than it did at first,” I commented.

He replied with enthusiasm, “It is much better now.”

When I worked at the reference desk in Moorhead, MN, a homeless shelter was close so many of the homeless would spend considerable time at the library. One day, one of the guys that I had visited with quite a lot came in with a bandaged ear. We talked some about his ear and what had happened. He then asked if I wanted to see it. I assured him it would be fine if I did not see it, but that did not deter him from unwrapping this wound and showing me the raw redness of it.

Another day a homeless Native American who also visited quite a bit told me that he had done the Sun Dance in which the chest is pierced and the participant pulled up with the body weight hanging from these two points. He was sure that I wanted to see his chest. Despite my protests he opened his shirt and showed me the marks. It is hard to think about the pain that is involved with this.

Just what is it about the library job or do people know that I really am interested in all of their scars, etc.?

Paula