My Christmas Cactus

Hello,

Today, I pulled off another large dying hunk of my Christmas cactus. It saddens me because it has been part of our lives for 44 years. I was proud of how large and vigorous it was. Now I will repot it in a much smaller pot when spring really comes. It is not dead, but putting out new growth. I also used to think that it was symbolic of our marriage. So now should I assume that the marriage is dying? But no, there is new growth; it must mean we are getting rid of the old and creating new for the rest of our lives together. Leroy is still talking of being 70 before he totally retires. At which time I will be 71. Then a totally new venture will begin.

Last night we were going over the financial picture of the coming years. If the market holds up more than down, we are really going to be in good shape because we have lived so austerely for many years. Not necessarily rich, but comfortable. I remember my mother talking about how they had always lived so carefully that when they sold the farm and had money they did not know how to spend it. Is spending money freely and easily something that is best learned when young?

The real questions are what would I change? I have already found it much easier to spend money when flying to see our daughters. That would have been unimaginable to me 20 years ago. Perhaps I will just go buy organic especially the “dirty dozen”, if I can once again find the list of those items that soak in the chemicals. Many of the vegetables from the garden are already organic so I am shifting that direction. I am not sure that I am ready to keep up with clothing styles. Just thinking about it makes me feel tired. Perhaps I should hire a fashion consultant, but I am afraid they might want to clean out my closet and start over. All I can think about that is, “What a waste.”

Perhaps it will be good, for Leroy would like to take some short mission trips and one must fund transportation oneself. We will have the ability to do some of that. Depending on what and where I could go along.

Paula